An Ode to New Beginnings

Keeping with the spirit of my last post, I have put together an ode to new beginnings. In reflecting on how new beginnings relates to my battle with Lyme disease, I realized something really cool. I was experiencing new beginnings constantly without taking notice. It’s natural, when you’re super sick and being forever bombarded by crazy new symptoms, to only focus on the bad. The scary. I know that I spent most of my time tracking symptoms. I wish I had spent more time tracking each tiny battle I won. Hence, this ode to new beginnings.

An Ode to New Beginnings and Tiny Battles Won

My hand no longer trembles, so get ready vegetables

            Slicing and dicing you again feels comfortable

I can rise from my bed and the world no longer spins

            Woohoo, what an enormous, gigantic win

The searing screwdriver has been removed from my brain  

            And, I can pee without coaxing my bladder with strain

I am easily pulling words out of thin air.

            Words like, ‘believe’, ‘achieve’, and even ‘declare’.

The grocery store is no longer a mystery to me

            I recognize peanut butter and know that it’s yummy.

Making the bed and vacuuming in the same day!

            Tiny little battles, get out of my way!

Awaking with energy because I slept through the night

            I never imagined I’d survive this plight.

Reading with focus and showering without fear

            Helps to keep hope alive for a better year.

Walking and talking and yes even sex

            No longer feel like a terrible, horrible hex.

Celebrate each win and new beginning with glee

            For someday, you will assuredly be free

You are all warriors, winning tiny battles every day!!

I remember what it was like. Laying down in bed every night, closing my eyes and wondering if I would live to see another day. Waking up in the morning, dreading each step, every blink of my eye. I now see the strength it took to take that first step out of bed every morning. That every day that I woke up and decided to wipe the sleep out of my eyes was a new beginning. I wonder, do you recognize your own strength in the face of this traumatic experience? I hope that you do.

For so long, all I saw was a sick person, barely holding onto the will to keep going. Now, I see the warrior in me. Every day I woke up and sought new beginnings. Like a soldier, I donned my armor every day and fought like hell to beat Lyme disease. I was determined to get better. Do you see the warrior in yourselves? With all sincerity, each and every one of you are warriors. With every tiny battle won, you prove that over and over again.

Sometimes, I wondered…Would my battle have been different if I had spent more time tracking each new beginning? Each tiny battle that I won? Take time to consider all of the tiny battles you’ve already won. Each win is a step closer to wellness.

Don’t lose hope

New beginnings are tiny little steps full of big intentions. The tiniest of steps for a Lyme warrior are often a huge, ginormous deal. So, celebrate them as you would celebrate a new job, an award won or an anniversary achieved. To the average human, showering alone or having the energy to brush your teeth before bed is a common every day practice. But, I see you warriors. I know what a huge achievement that is. I hope that you see it that way too!