Letter of Love and Compassion for Lyme Warriors

A few months ago I wrote this post about learning to love myself after Lyme disease. After decades of fearing my body, even two years into remission, I am still running away from my corporeal existence. For as long as I can remember my body has felt like nothing more than a burden. Exhausted, achy, trembling, foggy and unreliable. This has been my bodily experience. However, I have recently realized, through some amazing therapy, that my body is actually truly amazing. I am learning to love myself in an even deeper way. It is for this reason that today I am writing a letter of love and compassion for Lyme warriors everywhere. I hope that it encourages you, brightens your day and helps you to love yourself, even through the fear and dread-filled days of your battle against Lyme disease.

My letter of love and compassion to Lyme Warriors

My dear ones, this journey that you’re on, whether you’ve just begun or you’re years into the process, is a long and arduous one. I’m here to encourage you to view this chapter in your life with a broad lens. It’s important to recognize that this battle is not only physical, but emotional and psychological as well. I spent most of my life ignoring or burying those emotional and psychological aspects. So today, I ask you to listen to your heart. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. While that may seem more difficult at first the reward will be far grander.

How are you feeling today? What emotions are coursing through your body? Fear, isolation, dread, hopelessness? Apathy, anger, resentment? Overwhelmed, anxious, discouraged? All of these feelings are completely normal and warranted. I understand where you’re coming from and my heart goes out to you. I have been where you are. There are days when just getting out of bed feels like an achievement. And that’s okay. Congratulate yourself. Hug yourself. Love yourself. It is that love and compassion that will get you through this battle.

Hold onto compassion

I remember well those long days swimming in despair. Will this ever end? Am I dying? I am reaching out to you. I am extending my arm, as far as I can stretch, to hold your hand.

When you roll over in the morning, wrapped in the heaviness of dread, I tenderly kiss your cheek and brush your hair back from your forehead. I whisper in your ear, I’m so proud of you my dear.

When your legs won’t cooperate, or listen to your brain, I bend to lend you my shoulder. Together we can conquer.

At night, when it’s time for bed and your body aches from head to toe, I slide my hand under your head. With my other arm, I wrap it around your waist, and help lower you to your pillow. You need not fret my dear, I’m right here.

In the most difficult of times, I am here as a reflection of how strong you are. Every day, no matter how arduous, you arise and strap on your armor. Your tenacity astounds me. Your courage leaves me in awe. Your stubbornness in seeking health through the muckiest of mires is inspiring. Again, I whisper in your ear, I’m so proud of you my dear.

Hold onto love

I wonder, do you see the courage oozing from your aura? I ponder, can you feel the strength in your determination? I question, can you sense the love that surrounds you? Does it give you a boost to keep fighting? My hope is that you can look at yourself with a sense of pride and wonder. For you are a warrior.

When you can’t shower alone, for fear of falling, I’ll sit in the bathroom with you and wrap you in a shield of protection.

Don’t fear the fog that surrounds you, for I am here, sounding a horn into the darkness to guide you to shore.

When you awake in the darkness of night, drenched yet trembling, I wipe the sweat from your head and provide you with crisp blankets.

You can cry on my shoulder, I’ll soak up your tears. Please, confess your fears and I’ll reveal the monsters. I beg of you, lean on me, for I’m happy to be your stalwart. I know where you are, for I have been there too. Together we can seek the light through the clouds. Through the vast desert and over the steepest of mountains, we will navigate this thing that ails you. With determination, love and compassion I know that you will prevail. I see the warrior in you and I’m so proud.

Hold onto yourself

Hold onto yourself. Wrap your arms around yourself and cherish yourself. This body that feels like the enemy is truly your ally. It is fighting and working its magic behind the scenes. Your body was built to survive. Caress it and let it know how amazed you are at his feats. I know you want to be angry with it, this body that feels like it just won’t cooperate. But, it needs you. It needs your compassion and your love. It is there for you, just as I am here for you.

When your feet are aching reach down and wrap your hand around them. Give them a gentle squeeze that says, I’m here for you.

Those dizzy spells can be demoralizing. Take a moment to sit down, close your eyes and breath deeply. Whisper kindly to yourself, I’m okay. This will pass eventually.

When your heart is racing and it feels like it might pound out of your chest, rest your hand there. Reflect on what an amazing mechanism of life your heart is and be grateful that it’s still beating for you.

Rest in the knowledge that there are others out there, supporting you and rooting for you, who have been right where you are.

The worst part of my battle against Lyme disease was feeling alone in my struggle. The scariest part was the sheer magnitude of symptoms that overwhelmed me daily and the odd one-offs that arose constantly. Reach out to the Lyme community. Ask questions. Know that you aren’t alone in your fear and dread.

Remain tenacious yet restful in your battle, my dear ones.