Category: Blog

67 posts in this category

My List of Lyme Disease Symptoms

I have been spending a lot of time on Facebook Lyme disease support groups. A recurring theme of people reaching out with questions about bizarre symptoms they’re experiencing has me reaching into my memory bank. I know how they’re feeling. In fact, the desperate fear of the unknown that I...

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Losing Joy

Losing my joy I curl up into a ball against the world. I have been here, in this tiny shape of avoidance, for so long. The sun hurts my eyes and noises make me jump. Walking is dreadful. I feel as though I may collapse at any moment. The sun’s...

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Reinventing Yourself

Accepting that you’re unable to continue in a career that you love because your mind and body aren’t functioning properly is a difficult pill to swallow. The little voice in your head that tells you ‘you’re not good enough’ is hard to stifle. And yet, we soldier on. With each...

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Nature Meditation

One of the few fond memories I have during my two years of treatment happened during my most difficult of days. I could barely walk and the heat of the day felt like an iron blanket. I was exhausted, scared and generally felt like crap. When my husband came home...

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Abandonment

Sometimes I have a difficult time admitting when I’m struggling. I still get frustrated with myself when I feel like I’m backsliding. This may have something to do with my abandonment issues, which unexpectedly rose to the surface about ten days ago. With a shocking onset, my PTSD symptoms began...

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No One Can Steal Your Inner Power

What follows is a dream I had about a year ago. At the time I was really struggling with my PTSD and feeling too weak to defend myself. My mind was playing terrible tricks on me, allowing me to believe I didn’t have the power to move on. That was...

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The Importance of Routine

Prior to being diagnosed with Lyme disease I was not a routine type of person. I preferred spontaneity to structure. But, the importance of routine was revealed to me in the need for structure and expectations, however minor those expectations may have been. Truly, it happened without any forethought or...

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The Aftermath of Lyme Disease

During my treatment, as life passed me by, I would stare out my windows anxious to rejoin the world. I lamented all of the things I was unable to do: riding my bike, rock climbing, going for walks with my husband and my dog, paddle boarding. I was certain that...

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Remember to Breathe

I recently wrote about the worst night of my Lyme disease treatment. I realized after I hit publish and closed the mental door on that post, how deeply that experience had affected me. In writing about that night, I was forced to relive the trauma and the resulting wisps of...

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