Tag: #Chronic Illness
41 posts tagged with "Chronic Illness"
Losing Joy
Losing my joy I curl up into a ball against the world. I have been here, in this tiny shape of avoidance, for so long. The sun hurts my eyes and noises make me jump. Walking is dreadful. I feel as though I may collapse at any moment. The sun’s...
Read MoreReinventing Yourself
Accepting that you’re unable to continue in a career that you love because your mind and body aren’t functioning properly is a difficult pill to swallow. The little voice in your head that tells you ‘you’re not good enough’ is hard to stifle. And yet, we soldier on. With each...
Read MoreNature Meditation
One of the few fond memories I have during my two years of treatment happened during my most difficult of days. I could barely walk and the heat of the day felt like an iron blanket. I was exhausted, scared and generally felt like crap. When my husband came home...
Read MoreAbandonment
Sometimes I have a difficult time admitting when I’m struggling. I still get frustrated with myself when I feel like I’m backsliding. This may have something to do with my abandonment issues, which unexpectedly rose to the surface about ten days ago. With a shocking onset, my PTSD symptoms began...
Read MoreThe Importance of Routine
Prior to being diagnosed with Lyme disease I was not a routine type of person. I preferred spontaneity to structure. But, the importance of routine was revealed to me in the need for structure and expectations, however minor those expectations may have been. Truly, it happened without any forethought or...
Read MoreThe Aftermath of Lyme Disease
During my treatment, as life passed me by, I would stare out my windows anxious to rejoin the world. I lamented all of the things I was unable to do: riding my bike, rock climbing, going for walks with my husband and my dog, paddle boarding. I was certain that...
Read MoreRemember to Breathe
I recently wrote about the worst night of my Lyme disease treatment. I realized after I hit publish and closed the mental door on that post, how deeply that experience had affected me. In writing about that night, I was forced to relive the trauma and the resulting wisps of...
Read MoreMy Fake Smile Became a Mask
Reflecting optimism I hear my husband walk in and gently nudge me awake. He doesn’t know it but I’ve been awake since I heard him start the coffee. I feel the weight of his body compressing the mattress behind me. With an effort that feels like slogging through quicksand, I...
Read MoreThe Awesome Sacrifice of a Lyme Warrior’s Caregiver
The Power of Grief “A central process in grieving is the attempt to reaffirm or reconstruct a world of meaning that has been challenged by loss.” -Robert A. Niemeyer When I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease, back in 2017, my husband wasn’t my husband yet. He was my boyfriend...
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