April 18, 2022
The Benefits of Journaling During Lyme Treatment
“Putting your feelings down on paper…it makes them real. Which can be terrifying. But, that will give you power over them.”
Servant – Season 3, Episode 1 “Donkey“
I was struck by this quote the other night from a TV show I have been shamelessly binge-watching. I found myself pondering the hours upon hours I spent filling the pages of my journal with my fears and anxieties while in the midst of my battle. In retrospect, the benefits of journaling during my Lyme treatment were immediately obvious. In the midst of my battle I had seen it as a necessity, but I was also surprised to realize that journaling was really an integral part of my rehabilitation. There are a number of proven benefits to journaling during your Lyme treatment and I hope this post helps you to obtain this hidden power.
Journaling to track your symptoms
I began journaling because my doctor had suggested it as a means for tracking my multitudinous symptoms. Many of them are so random you wouldn’t remember them if you weren’t writing them down. Some of those for me were:
- Floaties in my eyes and light flashes in my vision
- Weird bumps/rash on my face, chest
- Sensitive to the cold
- Sensation that hairs are tickling my face
- Needing to push hard to fully void my bladder
- Feels like I can’t control my legs, like they have a mind of their own.
I had been suffering with many of these symptoms for so long I didn’t even realize they were symptoms of anything. Luckily, I began to make note of them in my journal, which was beneficial for my doctor. Because of a lack of diagnostics for many of these symptoms, tracking them is important. The best way to tell if you’re getting better is to record which symptoms persist and which symptoms are abating. This aspect of journaling is salient, and worthwhile, but I found it offered an equally valuable mental health benefit.
Journaling as an emotional sounding board
When I first heard the dreaded words, you have Lyme disease, I was fearful of what my future would hold. What I discovered immediately was how very lonely I felt. Not just because I was home alone all day, while my husband was at work, but because nobody truly understood what I was going through. I needed someone to know how scared I was and how horrible I felt. My journal served as that emotional sounding board.
- I feel surprisingly comfortable in my delirium today.
- These new ADP pills are kicking my ass!
- I don’t feel as fragile as I did a few months ago, not as scared. Now I just feel slow and tired, like a shell of the person I was.
When I go back and read these journal entries it’s a remarkable testimony of the battle that I fought. I see myself as a warrior full of persistence and determination. I’m not sure if I would have had the tenacity to keep going if I hadn’t been so diligent in writing down my feelings.
Journaling as Catharsis
“Putting your feelings down on paper…it makes them real. Which can be terrifying. But, that will give you power over them.” I love this quote because it rings so true. It’s surprising to me that by simply writing down your feelings you gain catharsis. It feels a little like the release you get from screaming into a pillow.
You can also be honest with your journal in a way that you may not feel comfortable with people. The weekend before I started my treatment, my husband and I went out to one last non-paleo dinner, then ceremoniously went to pick out my journal. The journal I chose to house my innermost thoughts for the coming battle was a bright yellow, spiral bound, repurposed Little Golden Book. The vibrantly cheerful cover depicting The Lively Little Rabbit was a stark contrast to its contents. Some of my journal entries were brutally honest:
- Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel better…and when I do what will it feel like to not always feel crappy. What will I do with myself as a healthy individual? What will it feel like to not always be a little scared, unsure of what tomorrow will bring?
- I’m fucking tired of writing in this journal. I’m fucking tired of this disease! I can’t do this anymore!! I just want to feel normal. I HATE YOU LYME DISEASE!!!
My doctor warned me that I wouldn’t be able to work for at least the first three months of treatment. Admittedly, there was some relief in this news. I had been struggling for so many years to get through a day of work that I was a bit joyful at the idea of having a good excuse to take some time off. I never could have imagined just how horribly I would feel. The benefits of journaling during my Lyme treatment were tangible and continue to resonate to this day. I encourage you to try it for yourself and reap the benefits on a daily basis.
Other Resources
Here are a few other resources I found that detail how journaling can benefit you during your treatment. It has been scientifically proven to aide in recovery and instill a sense of well being. As always, remember that you are a warrior and even warriors need tools to help them succeed.
How Journaling Can Help You in Hard Times
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